For the Love of God, Stop Putting Intimate Moments Online
No one wants to see a photo of your dead grandma and it's insane that that didn't occur to you.
There is a misconception that just because a screen separates you, the rules of polite society don’t apply. I’m here to tell you that they very much do. A good rule to keep in mind: if it would be inappropriate in person, it’s almost always also inappropriate online.
Some of the worst offenders:
People who post images of their injuries online. First of all, how self-important are you that you think anyone wants to see that? It’s gross, and you’re weird for just putting that online. When a graphic image is shown anywhere else, it usually comes with a content warning because everyone else understands that it’s sensitive content and not something most people want to see. And yet, here you are, just putting that on social media, where it will come up without warning to other people. It’s objectively inconsiderate. If they aren’t your attending doctor or paramedic, know that no one wants to see that.
People who film birth content. And by that, I mean the whole process: from labour to aftercare. Having a baby is an incredibly sacred and intimate moment. You’re really prioritizing public attention over just being in the moment and, you know, focusing on your baby? I was scrolling TikTok the other day, and a new mother took the time to set up her camera and then filmed herself leaning on her husband as he helped her to the bathroom. WHAT.
Not to mention, this is still a medical procedure that’s taking place in a hospital with doctors and nurses present. Have respect for the staff working and the seriousness of medicine. Also, it’s not a great note that you’re about to be a parent, and you already can’t focus on your child when it matters most. Post a picture of the baby (cleaned up and neatly swaddled) instead of providing the public with this unrequested documentary.
People who post pictures of themselves kissing. It’s weird and impolite to share an intimate, romantic kiss with your partner in front of other people. That doesn’t change just because you’ve immortalized it in a photo and you’re showing me through a screen. The only exception is pictures from your wedding day. Or if you’re trying to make an ex jealous.
People posting pictures of their grandparents and/or parents suffering and/or dying in a hospital. This one should be obvious, yet I keep seeing people post pictures of their parents coming out of surgery, or of themselves holding their dead mee maw’s hand. What are you doing? This is not an instance where posting photos of a sick and vulnerable person or a corpse is warranted. If you have a loved one in a hospital, simply put out a typed message saying what the situation is, how to get in contact with you if necessary, and maybe a little note asking for thoughts/prayers for you and your family. We do not need the photo of that person at their lowest, and it’s low to do that to a so-called loved one.
Photos of your dead pet. What is wrong with you.
They, the poster, get the personal gratification of attention, and the rest of us are left grossed out.
If I worked in HR, this would seriously be something I would screen for in hiring. Because it does say a lot: do you have a sense of what is acceptable? Can you act appropriately? Do you have critical thought? Can you think of how your actions affect others? It might seem trivial, but I think it actually says a damn lot.
Anyway.
Actually, now that I think about it, there is one exception to the birth content. If you are from Ontario, and you are doing it to replace the birth video that used to play at the Ontario Science Centre (RIP). You know the one; you wander into a little room, no warning, and then suddenly you’re looking at bush. And then eventually a baby. A canon traumatic event if you grew up in the Greater Toronto Area. And future generations are going to miss out. 💔