I'm so glad my mom wasn't an influencer

When I see family vloggers, I only feel sorry for the kids held hostage to their parents' egos and addiction to attention.

I was born at the perfect time IMO.

I had just the right amount of technology growing up. We worked on our typing skills with MSN Messenger (RIP diva - NEVER forgotten), our social media was MySpace, and Habbo Hotel was big. There was not a whole lot going on, but it was fun; it was simpler; it was independent; it was parent-free.

Cut to today: everyone is online. And with a culture shift comes new problems. And the one I want to get to today is when a parent wants to become an influencer.

Not all of us are lucky to be raised in homes with considerate parents who are thoughtful about their children and how their actions may affect them. In fact, I would say most people do not benefit from such a luxury. And further to that point, many parents have huge egos, low self-esteem, and/or a lack of self-confidence. And they don’t work on it, so some ugly behavior manifests. For many, it’s content creation coupled with an addiction to attention, praise, and the thrill of performing perfection.

There are so many creators who are so hell-bent on this relentless pursuit of perfection and an idyllic family life that I refuse to believe they are happy. Nabela Noor is one example. She posts these heavily curated videos of her girls in matching outfits “playing outside”. Except the outfits are spotless, which tells me the girls are not actually engaging with the outside and nature. They are there to perform for their mother’s viewers.

Another one is Aubree Jones. She has regularly posted videos of herself and her seven children for years. But what we forget is that those videos are not candid moments. They are obviously staged with cues and instructions so that each child performs to their mother’s vision and expectation. That’s not how children are supposed to spend their time, and I would bet that’s not how children want to spend their time. I refuse to believe that seven children all love making dozens upon dozens of these videos.

There is no other instance where forcing your child to fully participate in your job or hobby is acceptable. Imagine I force my child to play on my rec league or come draft separation agreements with me - I’d be considered a bad mom. So, regardless of whether social media is a hobby or a career for these people, why do they feel okay to make their kids do it with them?

It is your right to show off your home. But consider what happens if your kids’ peers find the videos. They can see their home and hear relatively intimate details of their family’s life. Your children have effectively lost control of much of their privacy. And they have no idea who is watching.

When you become a parent in a place where it’s a choice, you forfeit your right to be completely selfish. You have an obligation to consider your child in all their needs; physically, psychologically, emotionally, everything. You also have an obligation not to coerce them into doing something they don’t want to do if it is solely for your benefit. If you ask and they willingly and enthusiastically want to do it, that’s one thing. But I doubt that’s the case when TikTok becomes your parents’ job, and they now rely on you to get those views up.

Something I cannot wait for is future documentaries featuring the children of TikTokers and social media influencers. I bet it will be sad; I have no doubt we will hear some shocking things. But I’m so interested to see and hear about what these influencers are really like behind the scenes and what comes out of parents with relentless social media obsessions.