Just Be High Maintenance.

On the TikTok trend of elaborate beauty routines marketed as "low maintenance," and the shame underneath it.

Sharing a beauty regimen is nothing new. What is new is elaborate self-maintenance schedules being passed off as “low maintenance” - even “no maintenance” in more egregious cases.

There was a TikTok trend of women showing off elaborate beauty routines, all while insisting that the colossal effort they’re putting in is actually low-maintenance. Teeth bleaching. Lip staining. Eyebrow dyeing and shaping. All of it framed as the secret to needing less effort, not more.

These are tips for longer-lasting beauty, sure, but it is by no means low-maintenance. Low maintenance is tweezing your eyebrows as hair grows back. One of these gals was applying a stencil to her face to get the perfect eyebrow, then called that low maintenance. It’s not low maintenance because it lasts longer - it still took a lot of work to do, and it has to be done regularly. What the heck is high maintenance if not that??

Just be high maintenance. You are going above and beyond most people’s beauty routine, and putting in a significant amount of time to do so. You are high-maintenance. And there’s nothing wrong with taking care of yourself and looking good. That should be a point of pride. So why are so many women obsessed with being seen as low/no maintenance?

I’ll tell you why: men. Growing up, there were jokes everywhere about how women take forever to get ready, and I always hated that. Good things take time, and that includes putting yourself together. And if you, as a woman, put in the time and effort to look your best going out with a man, that man is also getting the benefit of it: looking at you, and being seen next to you.

A lot of men regularly put women down for the time, energy, and money they invest in their looks. So my safe guess is that a lot of women have absorbed shame around caring for themselves. Stop. Because what are they complaining about? Looking nice and respectable? What’s the fear in being accused of caring about your appearance?

And why even have that fear? Women are relentlessly marketed to by beauty, fashion, and lifestyle companies. It’s completely reasonable to expect that there will be a response to that. And it seems even with the rise in “self-love” and “doing things for yourself”, the shame of caring about our looks is still being felt by women; it’s just expressed differently now. Why do some women feel the need to diminish the work they do on themselves?

I hate seeing women trying to shrink themselves. I have never heard a man get called “high maintenance” for dressing well and seeing a barber regularly. However, a woman with a well-curated wardrobe and regular hair appointments would certainly be classified as such. It doesn’t matter what you do; if you do one nice thing for yourself, someone will find a way to call it too much.

It’s okay to look good and take care of yourself. You are the most important person in your life, and you are responsible for getting you through each day, every day. It’s a worthy investment and doesn't need an explanation or an apology. Pretending otherwise? An actual insecurity.